Lost Hope

You watched, as the boat drifted farther away from the pier
As it carried your soul away into the depths of unknown.
You waved, fiercely, in till you could no longer see but a speck,
A speck that turned into a void, nothing but a grim looking shell.

Oh bless your soul, your beautiful broken soul
Leaving your body to carry the burden somewhere else.
You became someone I did not know, someone I did not like.
With your unsympathetic tongue and your hungry eyes.

You started to fade away from me,
So far that my cries for you were never heard.
I pulled and tugged at your sleeve, yet you stayed ignorant
To the pain I felt as I shattered to pieces.

I stood at the pier, watching as you became but a ghost,
Slipping away as the boat drifted into the fog.
I waved, desperately, as a plea for you to come back
But it was too late, you’ve already given up and all is lost. 

Late Night

Tonight was just like all the other nights
Of heartbreak and utter frustration
Of not knowing what I want.
I hadn’t realized how stressed I’d become
Till it all blew up in my face
So here I sit, looking like a mess
Lost as ever.

But it’s late and no one cares
So I’ll just get in bed,
Turn off my light,
Say goodnight to the world,
And slip into oblivion.

Broken

I feel nothing, nothing but an empty, emotionless stir in my chest. Could it be that I am falling again? I am in denial, and I am numb. Shocked from the news. Is this the beginning of dark days and nightmares all over again? I want to cry but nothing comes, and I want to scream it all out in frustration but nothing slips out but a quiet whimper. I feel as if I have froze, lifeless and dull, I’m waiting. And as I stare into the mirror with lifeless eyes, I cringe. The girl who stares back at me is someone I do not know, why is there so much sorrow on her face? How did she become so broken? 

Unexpected

Laying in bed at night, pondering where time has gone
And how long it has taken me to realize how much has changed.
How selfless and blinded I have become,
The sudden change in diet and his failing health
Why did I not pay more attention 
When he complained of pains more often then usual?

Too wrapped up in myself, I just didn’t think this would happen to us
Now it might be too late to make up for lost time.
As we’re waiting to hear back from the doctor,
Daddy’s life dangles on a thin thread, waiting for the push or the pull.
Each and everyday of anticipation eats us away slowly … .
Oh so slowly, it seems time has slowed down.
One tumor turned out to be three tumors in one,
I don’t know what that will mean
But I do know that I am not ready.
I’m scared for the worst, there is just so much more
To make up with my dad, so much more 
I have to learn about him.
I’m down on my knees, begging for a miracle,
Hoping everyday that everything will be okay
And that Daddy will live through this,
So we can make amends,
So he can walk me down the aisle and send me off,
And so he can watch his grandchildren grow.
Please don’t take my dad away from me … 
Not now, no I’m not ready for that.